12 steps #3

3. Don’t be a people pleaser

This is one of my favorites in the entire series and I will try to explain why.
I don’t think that many are happy if they always do what others say they should do. I’ve lived a long life listening to others and doing what they want me to do. I didn’t realize it then but I was extremely unhappy. My advise to you is to have a long and serious discussion with yourself. You can ask questions like:

  • Did I get that haircut because I wanted to or because my friend/mother/aunt/boyfriend said that I’d look good in it?
  • Do I really want kids or do I think I do because society says that it’s “normal*?
  • Is my boyfriend/girlfriend trying to make me into someone else? What would happen if I changed something like hairstyle, taste in music etc?
  • Why do I want to focus on my career and aim to be successful? Would a high salary and constant working make me happy?


I can go on and on but I hope you understand what I’m aiming for with the questions. The exact questions is not the important thing but to be honest with yourself is! That is the key to be proud of who you are, I think. If you lie to yourself you’ll always know that you lied. Yes, you can be a hell of a liar when it comes to other people, but you’ll always know if what you thought was the truth or a lie. And please, don’t build yourself up with lies, you deserve something better!


So, the conclusion is that you should be honest with yourself and don’t do something that doesn’t feel right for you. Don’t listen too much to what others say and think. Take their advise into consideration but make your decision yourself, based on what you want to do.

And one final thing: don’t be afraid to loose people, like friends, along the way. You’ll see who your real friends are when you stay true to yourself and are comfortable in your skin and personality. That’s the friends that loves you for who you truly are and will stay with you through thick and thin.

Much love


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